Week 37, April 18, 2016

What a great day, what a great day! (I'll include a sound bit so this makes sense). 

Nothing is better than growing, even though growing can be uncomfortable at times. Stretching and pulling pushes us out of our comfort zone and stresses us, but it's all worth it in the grand scheme of things. It would be easier to stay as we are, easier to just say "I'll never change! I am who I am, so let me be!", and easier to give up, but then we'd be giving up on our glorious future selves.

Who I see myself to be is a woman who is patient (ha! Don't know when that's going to happen =) ), charitable, efficient, well rounded (no, not in physical shape haha), spiritual, and wise. I see myself in the future as a woman like unto the women in the Old Testament, such as my namesake, Rachel, and others such as Esther and Eve and Rebecca. I now I can become like them, I can become the woman Heavenly Father sees me to be, because of the Atonement. But it must all start within myself. If I don't want to change, the Lord is not going to force me! He wants me to use my divinely given agency, the ability to act independently and choose (but not to choose consequences), to become my best. As such, we are given the option every day whether we will grow and thrive or stay stagnant and wither.

This past week has been littered with opportunities for me to choose whether to grow or to stay as I am. Fortunately, and with a lot of help, I have chosen to grow. For example, this past Wednesday, all of the sister missionaries in the mission gathered together to receive a special training. There are about 20 of us in total and so I know each woman, some better than others but still knowing them. We spent some time eating lunch and then sharing 3 things about ourselves with the others. We entered the training having just learned something new about each other and the training was all about loving our companions and strengthening them. 

To be quite frank, I had been dreading this meeting due to how poorly I feel around other women. I'm not entirely sure why, but the notion of sisterhood is difficult for me to grasp and I almost always feel awkward around women. With my negative emotions causing a mini turmoil inside of me, I listened to a woman (the wife to a stake president over young single adults) testify of how special each one of us are. This is a sore point for me because I know we are all children of our Heavenly Father, that He loves us and that we each have divinity in us. That said, I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy, self resentment, and overall self pity; I always have a small voice in the back of my head saying "you could've done better". Not healthy, I know, which is probably why I needed to be at this meeting and hear what this woman had prepared.

She kept stressing how each one of us is a beautiful daughter of God and that we need to see that in each other. I already see that in my companion; she's awesome! But what I felt the Spirit tell me then was "Rachel, you need to see YOU the way God sees you." I struggled not to cry as I felt an overwhelming feeling of love. I had heard stories like this before, and believe them, but for me it was confirmed yet again that God knows me and loves me. He is pleased with who am I now and when He asks me to grow, it's not because He's displeased but rather knows my desire to be better, as it is His desire as well. When we are called to repentance, or to do hard things, or to endure a seemingly impossible trial, it is from a perfect and loving Father who is yearning to help us. He is always there to listen and to love and to comfort and we CAN change because of His Son, Jesus Christ and the perfect love He had for us. 

That meeting was difficult for me, the physical pain of headaches caused by crying aside. This was a moment when I was called to grow and I had to choose. It was scary, it was hard, and continues to be so, but I am changing and I know God is pleased with my progress. I strive everyday to love myself, to tell myself I'm beautiful because I am a daughter of a King; I am a princess! And so are all of you, princes and princesses, destined to become kings and queens. We can do this, with the love and support of each other, from our biggest brother, Jesus Christ, and always, of course, our Father. We can make this journey here on earth beautiful as we come to see ourselves as God sees us and see others the way He does.

Ok, here's my news report: 

WE HAVE PEOPLE ON DATE!!!! Oh my goodness!!! It's kinda hard to explain how excited I am through email, but I hope the all caps helped. =) (people on date means that they have agreed to be baptized on a specific date)

I believe on Saturday the zone leaders (see earlier emails for explanation of the organization of a mission) sent out a text saying that they had faith that everyone would be able to find one new person/have someone on date by the end of this past weekend. I was a bit skeptical because although we had been finding new people, we haven't been finding people willing to listen all that long. We worked hard Saturday and no new people. On Sunday, there were a few people that we had tried to get to church and no one came investigator wise, which was disappointing. We continued our day and decided to go visit someone who said she couldn't come to church. 

Her name is Angelica and she is just amazing! She has a lot of faith, which we saw as she explained some things that happened in her life, and she even offered the first prayer without us asking! The lesson we had yesterday was amazing! We asked what she wanted from us coming and she explained that she wants to be a better person, more like us (I kinda giggled on the inside and was like "wow! People really do see a difference in us, even if we have very brief contact with them"). We showed her the Book of Mormon and invited her to read it. Her next comment surprised me because she told us she wouldn't be baptized. We asked why and kept questioning her until we learned her main concern is that she wants to be baptized with her family. =D May we all have a mini dance please!

After that, we invited her to be baptized because the Spirit was super strong and it just felt right. As we started to give her the date (I was the one extending the invitation) I hesitated. We had planned to invite her for the 7th originally, which wouldn't work anymore because she didn't come to church yesterday, so I had the 14th ready to go. But it didn't come out; I invited her for the 21st and she agreed. I don't know what happened, but both Hna. Felix and I feel like this is the correct date for right now.

After we finished our lesson with her, we were both in a state of pleased shock and we started talking about what we need to do to teach her and her family. We walked towards our planned family for 8pm, Dante and his family, which we had felt prompted that morning to include, though we haven't ever personally taught them. The Elders had taught them twice and had asked us to take the next lesson, so we prepared to teach the gospel of Christ. Based off of what the Elders had told us, we were a little trepidatious but decided we would have a game plan and stick to it as closely as possible. (Apparently this man has a habit of asking very random and deep doctrine questions.) 

The door was answered by Rosio and she invited us in to speak with Dante, but we invited her to join us as well. All of the family, Dante, Rosio, and their 7yr old son whose name I can't remember, joined us. We started by singing "Families Can be Together Forever" (which is a habit that I thoroughly enjoy that Hna. Felix brought, singing before lessons) and then one of us offered the first prayer. We started the lesson by giving a brief overview of what we would share and then asked what they remembered from the last lesson they had. Dante mentioned a few things that had troubled him (such as God having a body of flesh and bone and that Joseph Smith saw God) and so we bore our testimonies of the nature of God and that in reality Joseph Smith saw Him and Jesus Christ. We then invited Dante to pray asking specifically "God, do you have a body?" and "did Joseph Smith really see Thee?" 

Having answered his questions, though probably not the way he wanted, we moved forward in teaching the gospel of Christ. We asked questions to gauge their understanding of each topic, used visuals such as a pen demonstration for repentance and a video for baptism, and asked them to share experiences with each topic. We felt like they were engaged and learning, rather than just listening. As we concluded our explanation of baptism, we asked what do they remember of theirs (nothing, due to the religion they were born into) and asked if they would like to choose this time. They said yes and so we asked the baptismal invitation, prefacing with "And when you come to know these things are true....". They agreed to be baptized and so we pressed forward and invited them for the 21st. Again, I don't really know what happened there, but again Hna. Felix and I felt at peace with that date. 

They hesitated at first, asking what we would do if they didn't feel ready by that date. We explained that we love them and pray for them, and so we felt that they could be ready by then, but that if they didn't feel like they were, we would change the date and work with them. We stressed a lot that we love them and want to see the. Happily individually and as a family. After that, they agreed to the date. We closed the lesson there and asked Rosio to say the prayer. She struggled at first, we invited her again, and then she asked her husband to. We decided not to push her but asked him and he started to pray but not out loud. We asked if he could and he said that he's never done that before and felt uncomfortable and so his son asked if he could do it.

Hna. Felix helped him start, but this spiritually sensitive kid gave the prayer by himself. He needed help closing, but afterwards we asked how he had learned to pray. He said that he wasn't taught but rather when the other people came (referring to the Elders) he would come in and listen to them and watch them.It is awe inspiring to watch this area grow and my own faith. Hna. Felix really has helped me grow my faith and I feel like that's what this area needed. We pray a tremendous amount, more than I thought possible at first, but now I'm realizing that I should've been involving Heavenly Father more. As I've reread my patriarchal blessing and have studied more fully, I have found another part of myself that I am growing into. Hermana Felix is an amazing example to me of what a faithful Latter Day Saint woman is. She exemplifies the women of the Old Testament, such as Esther and Ruth, Rachel and Rebecca. 

This week was awesome, just great, and beautiful. I hope that all of you have an awesome, just great, and beautiful week as you strive to grow. I love you and remember who you are!

Love,

Hermana Lindh